Had the worst episode of parenting I've ever had; just 15 min. ago. Adrenaline is still flowing through my veins.

About 2:40pm, my friend Nicole left here. Ian had been 'playing' in her car while she was loading; you know, being the typical monkey. She left; I watered the grass and the other kids came home/snacked/whatever. I figured Ian had come in and crashed on the couch. I came in through the garage. TV not on; front door still open; Ian not sleeping on the couch; Ian NO WHERE to be found. I did the panic "I can't find Ian; I'm not kidding; help me look" scream; grabbed my cell and ran outside toward Culver (major three lane street we can access through a open wall entrance 4 houses down). Called Nicole to see if he was hiding in the back of her van; NO, ok, bye. Called 911 while I sent the two bigs on their bikes down the sidewalk. Hollered for the 12yo neighbor to head back to toward his school (he ran and got his Mom too, bless him); I frantically was trying to remember what he was wearing. Standing in my driveway, I hear this faint little 'Mommy!' and I look up to see him at his bedroom window. ......BIG SIGH and halt to 911 call. HUH???????? I searched everywhere (under beds; toy box; dining table; pantry; end tables; behind fluffy chair; in dog crate; closets; my car). WHERE was he????

I headed upstairs to talk with him and COULDN'T FIND HIM. I sent all the kids to look for him b/c apparently his new spot is awesome. He was under Sean's bed; all the way in the shadows that I didn't see when I just quick glanced. After a little talk about hiding and that you can still hide for play but say "I'm right here!" if Mom yells for you.(I even roll-played b/c I wanted to make sure he understood). He ended the conversation with "and I don't have any cookies in my hands."

THUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The little fart tart was hiding while eating cookies that the kids had opened for after-school snack. THAT IS SOOOO TYPICAL OF HIM.

I just walked away b/c I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Longest 15 min. of my life.