Keeping it real

I finished my first 5k in two years this morning. I am proud to say that I did it in 38:50 with an 11:58 per mile pace. That's good for me and faster (and farther) than any of my workouts to this date. I didn't finish last. But with all the adrenaline rolling through my veins, I still get frustrated when I look at the world around me. Here is what I do know:
- I love the race atmosphere; so I'm going to sign up for Run or Dye on 6/22 (because I have to set small goals and commitments or I will quit).
- I am 43 years old and out of shape but I hit the road for 9.46 miles last week and 14.3 this week. It's better than sitting on the couch that entire time, but I'm not going to be smug and call myself a runner or that I love 'getting out there.' It still sucks as far as I'm concerned because I'm not seeing results.
- I have been doing an ab challenge along with my road work. And although, I can now plank for 85 seconds and such, I still feel aggravated.
- I have been exercising steadily since the beginning of May and the scale has not moved at all. I do not pretend to be an exercise guru and have to force myself to move forward as I want to turn around and come home. I try to channel Bob or Jillian from the The Biggest Loser and remind myself that I can run for 30 more yards before I can walk.
- I know I shouldn't let the scale define me

 but seeing some sort of results would be nice.

 

- I am not going to pretend that I eat totally clean, paleo, or gluten-free. I will say that I am drinking about 80oz. of water a day, eating at least 5-a-day of fruits and veggies (often closer to 7), and focus on eating whole grains if I'm consuming breads, etc. That has to account for something?

-I am aware of everything that goes in my mouth these days. I was tempted to grab a burger and fries while out yesterday but opted for a 6-inch roasted chicken sandwich from Subway with some baked chips. These choices HAVE to account for something, right?

-I was fully aware of the two donuts I inhaled after the race today. Like the title says - keeping it real.

-I am trying to set a better example for my children. Trying to send the message that exercise isn't always easy or fun, but better health is important.  Their Mom who adores sleeping in got up and out the door by 7:15am on a Saturday. (And I hope they remember that tomorrow is my off day so I will be sleeping in.)

 

Reality is that I have to be comfortable in my own skin. I have to keep moving forward for MY health. I have to stop focusing on what other people can do or how much better other people look - that is REALLY hard for me. There is no magic pill; it takes hard work and commitment. And even with hard work and commitment, I still likely won't look like other people. And if I want to eat some potato chips I am going to.

 

Today's race didn't finish with any big hoopla or crowds of cheering people. There was no medal at the end...just the satisfaction of knowing that I ran 3.2 miles for charity. All I got at the end was a hug of pride from my husband and a cold bottle of water from Ian. And 472 calories burned. That I'm sure I promptly negated with the donuts but that's what I call keeping it real.