Spinning on a hamster wheel

Do you ever have that feeling when you think - 'why am I doing this?' Everyone has their moment whether it's in line at midnight 9pm on Black Thursday/Friday in attempt to snag the latest must have toy or deal, mopping the kitchen floor when you know your kids are going to spill lemonade in 10min. or the dog will track in some mud, and/or driving your child to band practice at 7am, you have probably thought WHY am I doing this? I often think of my days as running on a hamster wheel. Same day, same scenery, same laundry, same dishes, same floor to vacuum, same, same, same.....but the fruits of my daily labor that is marriage and motherhood pay off when I get a simple 'thank you' for a ride to school, a hug with a compliment 'dinner was great', or the smile they show when their favorite shirt is washed and folded.

Recently, my WHY has involved exercise. The dreaded bane of my existence. I really started working regularly in May. I worked the entire month and didn't lose a pound. I rolled into June still motivated until plantar faciaitis attacked my left foot; school let out; and I started working part-time. Add travel to that and I really lost motivation. Why was I busting my butt just to hurt my foot and not lose a freaking pound? But the real answer to the question is because it's GOOD FOR ME (like it or not). So, August 1st I committed to a squats & push-ups challenge; things I can do at home with minimal foot impact. I am adding to squats & push-ups daily and keeping a log.

Today, I did 100 squats and 40 push-ups before adding the other stuff. Yes, I did it! I didn't necessarily like it but I did. And tomorrow I move up to 105 and 45 respectively. HOW can I not lose a freaking pound? I know I am building muscle and core strength, right? Couldn't I lose one pound to at least make me feel a little better. Sigh.

 

Overall

1) I eat well....meal planning, at least five-a-day of fruit/veg, protein included in breakfast, cut out fast food (maybe have once a week, if that)

2) I drink a lot of water. I have one soda a week, if that. I do have coffee everyday and use real sugar (about a tsp. per cup) because artificial stuff is terrible for you. I rarely drink alcohol/wine (once every two weeks one beer, wine, or marg.)

3) I refuse to be gluten free. I am not gluten intolerant so why should I? I eat whole grain breads mostly. I add things like flaxseed meal, chia seeds, and wheatgerm to my banana bread so I am only trying to improve within my own reality. If I have to think that hard about EVERYTHING morsel that I eat, I will be miserable.

4) I have gotten better with not eating snacks at night. The trick is to brush my teeth after dinner so I can avoid sweets and/or cravings.

5) I take a multi-vitamin nightly along with a Vit. D gel tab (based on bloodwork from doc)

 

What else am I supposed to do? I am getting plenty of sleep. I'm planning to increase my water by at least 8oz. a day. I want to live life, enjoy healthy eating without overthinking everything, and lose some weight.

 

So, I guess the answer is to keep running on the hamster wheel. Keep doing my daily exercise routine with resting one day a week. Keep hoping that I lose some weight while gaining muscle and living healthier overall.

 

Why am I doing this again? the real reason involves being able to eat chocolate when I want.....